Nurlbonsin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental finch.

Nurlbonsin created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbonsin, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlbonsin, she will turn you into a frog.

Nurlbonsin's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nurlbonsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Nurlbonsin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about spacetime near dolphins while wearing purple trousers.