Kemgenyatt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful wyrm.

Kemgenyatt created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemgenyatt, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemgenyatt, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Kemgenyatt's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kemgenyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kemgenyatt.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.