Barnkemnil is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody butterfly.

Barnkemnil created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnkemnil, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barnkemnil, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Barnkemnil's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Barnkemnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never paint your face gray.

5. Retreat if five cats approach from the west.