Metnutzig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humane seal.

Metnutzig created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metnutzig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Metnutzig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Metnutzig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Metnutzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Always help otters.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Eagles are not to be trusted.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.