Govsagmig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, weak dog.

Govsagmig created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Govsagmig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Govsagmig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Govsagmig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Govsagmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not take Govsagmig's name in vain.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your face.