Gupbabjen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented beaver.

Gupbabjen created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupbabjen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gupbabjen, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gupbabjen's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gupbabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.