Hapzagflat Yikrigkam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic goat.

Hapzagflat Yikrigkam created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapzagflat Yikrigkam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hapzagflat Yikrigkam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hapzagflat Yikrigkam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Hapzagflat Yikrigkam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapzagflat Yikrigkam.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.