Dinflanvonlop is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful bird.

Dinflanvonlop created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinflanvonlop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dinflanvonlop, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dinflanvonlop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dinflanvonlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Do not take Dinflanvonlop's name in vain.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.