Gep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful grasshopper.

Gep created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Gep, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gep, she will turn you into a rat.

Gep's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat parsnips.

5. Do not take Gep's name in vain.