Vonpinfod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent duck.

Vonpinfod created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonpinfod, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonpinfod, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vonpinfod's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vonpinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Vonpinfod loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.