Janbotzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic human.

Janbotzan created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Janbotzan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Janbotzan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Janbotzan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Janbotzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near eagles.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

3. Never wear blue skirts.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Never mention whales.