Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic squid.

Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five eagles approach from the south.

2. Run away from orange capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitfetstaf Flowvenlat Dittigfob.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Never eat lentils.