Kopweelik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent shrew.

Kopweelik created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopweelik, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kopweelik, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kopweelik's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kopweelik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Do not hurt great tits.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never leap in the presence of turtles.