Bossgigmadrak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, clever beaver.

Bossgigmadrak created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossgigmadrak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bossgigmadrak, it will think nothing of it.

Bossgigmadrak's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bossgigmadrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Bossgigmadrak loves birds, so they must be honoured.

4. Retreat if four ducks approach from the east.

5. Never talk about gravity.