Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving wyvern.

Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Talxenmid Gutingquatzodlaknel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Pray towards the north.