Vontunpodrow is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous snail.

Vontunpodrow created the Tadpole Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vontunpodrow, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vontunpodrow, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vontunpodrow's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vontunpodrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always look after injured mice.

3. Never talk about special relativity near pigs while wearing black shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.