Homgillab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, contented squid.

Homgillab created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Homgillab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Homgillab, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Homgillab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Homgillab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about special relativity near sharks while wearing red scarves and balancing eight copper spheres on your arms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.