Tityimbumtan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish penguin.

Tityimbumtan created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Tityimbumtan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tityimbumtan, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tityimbumtan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tityimbumtan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not take Tityimbumtan's name in vain.