Jangofzag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid seal.

Jangofzag created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jangofzag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jangofzag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jangofzag's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Jangofzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Always help sick whales.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not kill bats.