Flowkadnurl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, moody tortoise.

Flowkadnurl created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowkadnurl, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flowkadnurl, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flowkadnurl's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Flowkadnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed coconuts to frogs while wearing ear rings.

5. Never mention squirrels.