Hublarpmon is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow guinea pig.

Hublarpmon created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hublarpmon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hublarpmon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hublarpmon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hublarpmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if nine geese approach from the south.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.