Dunmetjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless zebra.

Dunmetjan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunmetjan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dunmetjan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dunmetjan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dunmetjan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.