Quartfossfarncab is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy slug.

Quartfossfarncab created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfossfarncab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quartfossfarncab, it will manifest in front of you.

Quartfossfarncab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Quartfossfarncab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always obey Quartfossfarncab's priests.

4. Put Quartfossfarncab first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.