Hugcargab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless guinea pig.

Hugcargab created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hugcargab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hugcargab, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hugcargab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hugcargab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Hugcargab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Hugcargab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Learn five new languages a year.