Xenkarkan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered newt.

Xenkarkan created the Sol system four million years ago.

If you believe in Xenkarkan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xenkarkan, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xenkarkan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Xenkarkan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.