Fabgutnak is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident wyvern.

Fabgutnak created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabgutnak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fabgutnak, she will turn you into a plant.

Fabgutnak's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fabgutnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Retreat if nine grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Fabgutnak loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not keep eight voles in a large pit.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.