Fentiklit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful cow.

Fentiklit created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fentiklit, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fentiklit, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fentiklit's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Fentiklit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight monkeys in a large pit.

2. Put Fentiklit first in all things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never mention grasshopers.