Gamsinvon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, compassionate centaur.

Gamsinvon created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamsinvon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gamsinvon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gamsinvon's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gamsinvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never look in ponds.