Tomhatlun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy faun.

Tomhatlun created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tomhatlun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tomhatlun, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tomhatlun's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tomhatlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Worship no other gods but Tomhatlun.

3. Never feed lots of spinach to foxes while wearing white shoes.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Do not stand on grass.