Femfudlik is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful turtle.

Femfudlik created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femfudlik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Femfudlik, he will be very sad.

Femfudlik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Femfudlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Femfudlik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Femfudlik.

5. Never talk about dark energy near shrews while wearing red rings.