Gonhabgen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, blissful jellyfish.

Gonhabgen created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonhabgen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gonhabgen, it will turn you into a dog.

Gonhabgen's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gonhabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about gravity near foxes while wearing orange shirts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Always help gulls in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.