Riphonquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous cow.

Riphonquaf created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Riphonquaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Riphonquaf, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Riphonquaf's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Riphonquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat bark.