Shavbomtik Fonfagrak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy hummingbird.

Shavbomtik Fonfagrak created the Virgo Supercluster two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavbomtik Fonfagrak, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavbomtik Fonfagrak, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Shavbomtik Fonfagrak's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Shavbomtik Fonfagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine eagles approach from the south.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.