Dissxuchiv is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy lizard.

Dissxuchiv created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Dissxuchiv, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dissxuchiv, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dissxuchiv's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Dissxuchiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide if six turtles approach from the south.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.