Goncarged is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic jaguar.

Goncarged created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Goncarged, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Goncarged, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Goncarged's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Goncarged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about apples.

2. Always obey Goncarged's priests.

3. Hide from purple ants for they are unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Goncarged.

5. Never talk about fire.