Dumfitfas is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate rhinoceros.

Dumfitfas created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumfitfas, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumfitfas, he will ignore you.

Dumfitfas' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dumfitfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to ants while wearing turquoise shorts.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumfitfas.