Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest badger.

Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing mauve ear rings.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gabpibjentartadgepjarnart Veendammonsabtittik.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Pray towards the west.