Bidponvig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, vain pig.

Bidponvig created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidponvig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bidponvig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bidponvig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bidponvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white jumpers.

2. Always obey Bidponvig's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not covet oxen.