Sandmobhapman is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty squid.

Sandmobhapman created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandmobhapman, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandmobhapman, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sandmobhapman's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sandmobhapman's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Sandmobhapman in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never eat green fruit.