Tonkrilfud is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful eagle.

Tonkrilfud created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkrilfud, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonkrilfud, it will make you grow a tail.

Tonkrilfud's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tonkrilfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never sit near badgers.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing indigo shoes and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.