Quafgovdog is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent newt.

Quafgovdog created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgovdog, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quafgovdog, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quafgovdog's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Quafgovdog's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.