Nutttafjon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional lion.

Nutttafjon created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutttafjon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nutttafjon, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nutttafjon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nutttafjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Hide if eight squirrels approach from the east.

4. Nutttafjon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Hide from purple tapirs for they are unholy.