Podwatjig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, proud wren.

Podwatjig created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Podwatjig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Podwatjig, it will boil you in a big pot.

Podwatjig's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Podwatjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Always take life seriously.