Bedriglap is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, egotistical octopus.

Bedriglap created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Bedriglap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bedriglap, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bedriglap's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bedriglap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Bedriglap must be the most important thing in your life.