Bissterxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-assured fish.

Bissterxuck created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bissterxuck, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bissterxuck, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bissterxuck's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bissterxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near sheep while wearing green shoes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Bissterxuck loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat bark.