Padstragstik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, intelligent gerbil.

Padstragstik created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Padstragstik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Padstragstik, it will turn you into a slug.

Padstragstik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Padstragstik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near horses while wearing fawn shirts and balancing seven silicon spheres on your head.

3. Never hurt swans.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Never think ill of sick ducks.