Bossvanxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered gorilla.

Bossvanxen created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Bossvanxen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bossvanxen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bossvanxen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bossvanxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to sheep while wearing gray shirts.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.