Bifbemmid Jadwoddav is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical wasp.

Bifbemmid Jadwoddav created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bifbemmid Jadwoddav, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifbemmid Jadwoddav, he will turn you into a frog.

Bifbemmid Jadwoddav's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bifbemmid Jadwoddav's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple voles for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Bifbemmid Jadwoddav's priests.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about special relativity.