Bagtailfon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, weak hyena.

Bagtailfon created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtailfon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bagtailfon, she will turn you into a worm.

Bagtailfon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bagtailfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to monkeys while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.