Logtaildiss Bedmipaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, narcissistic bear.

Logtaildiss Bedmipaf created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Logtaildiss Bedmipaf, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Logtaildiss Bedmipaf, she will come to you in dreams.

Logtaildiss Bedmipaf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Logtaildiss Bedmipaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not take Logtaildiss Bedmipaf's name in vain.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about black holes.